In an earlier lesson, I gave an example of how to write a short story on the topic, “I Saw Two Hands Rising Out of the Water.”
Instruction: Write a Short Story Which Contains the Following Line: I Saw Two Hands Rising Out of the Water.
To recap what was said in the earlier example:
If you are asked to write a short story which “contains” a line or sentence, it means that the line or sentence must appear at some point in the story. It may appear in the beginning, middle, end or anywhere in between, but it must appear in the story.
Note: Sometimes, you are asked to write a short story “inspired” by a line or sentence. In this case, the line or sentence may or may not appear in the story, but it must be understood that the story was “inspired” by that line or sentence.
If you are asked to write a short story containing the above sentence, try to think of possible scenarios that could result in such a situation. Try to brainstorm. To “brainstorm” means to think of all possible ideas or solutions no matter how ridiculous, silly, or impractical they may first seem. After brainstorming, you select the best possible idea and expand it.
Here are some possible scenarios that could result in two hands rising out of the water.
- Someone is drowning.
- A mysterious underwater creature with human hands.
- A Ghost.
- A mermaid.
- An alien.
- Someone pulling a prank on you.
What else can you think of?
In this example, we’re going to use scenario No. 4: A mermaid!
Note:
The CXC CSEC English A Paper 2 short story (Section C) requires a narrative of approximately 400-450 words. This section allows candidates to demonstrate creative writing skills by developing a plot, setting, and characters based on a given prompt, title, or picture.
Key details regarding CXC short stories:
- Target Length: The ideal length is 400–450 words, though focusing on quality and narrative structure is more important than an exact word count.
- Structure: It is recommended to organize the story into 4 to 5 paragraphs.
- Content: Stories must be written in Standard English, though dialect is permissible in dialogue.
- Purpose: The narrative should display creative and imaginative language to fulfill syllabus objectives.
- Context: The short story is part of Section C of the English A Paper 2 exam.
I Saw Two Hands Rising Out of the Water
It was a beautiful, sunny day in tropical Belize. I was lying down in a hammock at a Rainforest resort that my parents had selected for our summer vacation that year. I looked up at the beautiful blue sky above with wooly white clouds swirling under it, and I thought, “how beautiful is God’s creation!”
It was the hour just after lunchtime, and my parents and siblings were resting in their rooms. We had a tour planned by the tour guide of the resort later that afternoon, around 5 PM. That was more than three hours away, and I was starting to feel bored.
Just about 500 meters away, there was a tranquil river shaded by beautiful trees and with banks carpeted by lush green grass. My heart raced with excitement at the thought of going there and taking a swim. Surely, I could hop over there, immerse myself in the comforting waters, and get back in time for 5 PM. And of course, there was no need to disturb and inform anyone.
I got out of my hammock hurriedly and ran to the river. Quickly, I threw off my shirt and plunged into the river. I started diving, swimming, and splashing about. The scenery was absolutely magnificent, and the gentle, cool water massaged my body in a heavenly manner. In all honesty, I felt like I was tasting heaven. I felt like staying there forever, but I soon noticed the sun dipping onto the horizon and realized that 5 PM was just around the corner.
I started swimming back to the riverbank to get out of the river. But just then, I felt a powerful force grip my left foot by the ankle. I panicked and started to swim with greater force to the shore, but something kept pulling me under. For five minutes, there was a dreadful fight between me and the water. Somehow, I managed to break free and shuttled to the riverbank, darting out, and collapsing on the ground nearly out of breath.
What in God’s name could that possibly be! I wondered. I sat there on the grass for a minute staring in terror at the placid waters I had just enjoyed. Was that an underwater current? And if so, why did it feel like a human hand? If it were a person, how did he or she breathe under the water? I had heard stories of whirlpools under the water. I had also heard stories of underwater spirits, ghosts, and mermaids that took persons down. But I wasn’t the superstitious type, and I didn’t believe in any of that nonsense.
I sat there for a minute more trying to compose myself and catch my breath, my eyes bulging in fear and wonder as I stared at the calm, beautiful, and mysterious river in front of me. Just then, I saw two hands rising out of the water. My heart accelerated about ten times its normal pace. The hair on the back of my neck stood on ends. I froze in terror. These were human hands. They looked like the hands of a woman…a young beautiful woman.
I pinched myself. I wasn’t dreaming. The hands kept rising more and more out of the water, and then…a head appeared. It was a woman with sparkling blue eyes and blonde hair. She waded to the riverbank and placed half her body on the ground. She smiled at me and stretched her right hand forward. “John…” she whispered. “Come with me.”
Just then, I saw her lower half beat the water. It was a mermaid! It was the first time I had seen a mermaid in my life. Her soft gaze, beautiful face, and sweet voice enchanted me. For a moment, I started to walk towards the mermaid. It stretched out its right and beckoned me to hold it. I reached for when suddenly I heard a voice “John! You’re going to be late for the tour!”
It was the voice of my mother, and it snapped me back into my senses. Just two inches away from the mythical underwater creature, I pulled back and ran away. I could hear her shrill voice calling to this day, “John…no…come back.” When I told my friends and family this story, the laughed and me said, “don’t imagine things!”
The End
This story exceeds the CXC required upper word limit of 450 words. Rewrite it to stay within the limit while keeping it interesting.
This is the second story on the short story topic, “I Saw Two Hands Rising Out of the Water.” The first one deals with a hideous, monstrous creature, and this one deals with a beautiful, mythical creature. In the first story, the main character stays on shore, but in this one, he enters the water and has a physical encounter with the underwater creature. See: Example One: I Saw Two Hands Rising Out of the Water. Which story can do you like more? Tell us in the comments!
Copyright 2026 by Patrick Carpen. All Rights Reserved.